We were perched on tall bar stools, lazily
My hand searched full peanuts in that
Overflowing Empty shells bowl
Our hands were firmly clasped but a word Was not
Spoken, we sat and watched
The bar dancers grope and grin at
My discomfort for she sat with me
Her young eyes unused to my debauchery
I sensed the fear In her eyes, would I
Ask her to the upstairs room and ravish her
Gently, she knows I won’t be harsh with her,
She fears she can’t say no, I am the one who
Holds her hand firmly, where fear cannot enter
I grin within at her open fear, her body so young
So untouched , she fears I swallow them whole
She knows not I grasp her hand firmer to assure her
I seek not the pleasures of her lips breasts and thighs
But her soul, her secrets feed me, her anguish I eat
My shoulders hold her precious night tales and
Those of ghastly abuse, I know she loves me
But won’t tell, she fears my manhood, I believe
She secretly wants me to touch her , so she may
Break her illusions of my goodness and flee from me
No more doubts of my godliness, all men are same
But I refuse her inner yearning to absolve her of purity
I hold her hand firmer Confirming my heavenly status
The bar grows dirty, sleazy the way I like it to be
The dancers topless now, the men groaning openly
We sit there two lovers, unseen In time,
No Romeo who seeks her lips
No Paris who parts her thighs
It’s just my hand in hers
Protecting her vulnerability
Promising her redemption from fear
She cringes at the carnal sights
But makes no complain lest she lose me for ever
Silly thing knows not that I will pine away without her
She would like me to leave her alone there, so the men may
Feast on her fears and free her once again,
That her ravaged body moaning in broken pain may
Search me through that bloody haze
Will I return to nurse her soul
Even though she lies in a spermy waste
If I don’t she is redeemed that I was but a dream
If I do then she knows not what to do with me
I sit there holding her hand
With the other I pass her a knife

— Written by V. Balakrishnan (Theatre Nisha, Chennai)


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